dear kate

It's been a few hours since your wedding. With the time difference, you're probably asleep by now.

I haven't paid much attention to you, or to your nuptials. I remember a few years ago hearing that you and William had broken up, at least for awhile. I think that was substantiated, not some absurd rumor. It makes me wonder, now, what it was about, if you think those issues have been resolved.

I looked up pictures of your dress online this morning. Since I'd heard the woman who took over McQueen's empire--she of the butterfly dresses and the intricate towering shoes--was the designer, I hoped your dress might be something remarkable. Instead, it was almost boring, so stifled by convention and what I imagine to be the Queen's ideas of decency that it seemed to have no character.

What did strike me, though, was your face. You seemed genuine, your smiles and waves a true expression, though not one of what I might call love--though it was nearer that than William's big-lipped grimaces.

I wondered, thinking about those pictures afterward, if you knew the family you were getting into. I thought about the way Charles was said to have treated Diana, about how those boys must have grown up. I wondered if one could ever win an argument against the Duke of Cambridge. I thought of the repetition of the headlines, "Prince William to Marry Commoner Kate Middleton," the "commoner" tolling over and over again like the distant sound of a funeral bell. One could never hope for any sort of equality in a relationship with that "commoner" forever ringing in the background.

I wonder, too, about the breach in your thought that must have allowed you to walk down that aisle today. I wonder how much of it might have been a political move on the part of the Royal Family, since so much of the British population seemed to find you charming. I wonder if you had fallen victim to the golden cup of poison that is our childhood fairy-tale, as so many of the people obsessed with your wedding seem to be.

You looked so fragile, in those photos, tiny breasts smoothed over with white satin, an infinitesimal waist, that bright smile. You seemed destined to break under the weight of your marriage, dragging along behind you like your absurd train. I wanted to tell you, like a friend, "Don't do this. This is not going to be the life you want."


  1. wow. I love the tenderness of this, tash. <3

  2. Wow, I married into a family, much younger than Cate (she now wants to be called Catherine) and thought I had married my Prince. so unbelievably good.. on paper.Then the HELL started, and the children came. My father had died when I was young, and I wasn't going to raise them alone, I knew what that was like, so I stayed for all the wrong reasons, while living in fear. Fear while he screamed and threw tantrums, fear while he hit me, fear while he cheated on me. Fear while he started doing cocaine and became addicted to it, while practicing law.The whole time receiving material gifts that no one my age needed. I tried to be a good Mother, but I wasn't all there. The problem is there are no re-do's, it's a one shot deal. I too felt like a Queen, like sheep to slaughter, married to a wolf in sheep skin.
    I finally escaped. I remarried, a sweet, smart, well adjusted man. Now he gets to live with the ghosts, even though I try.
    I thought that the wedding was historical, magnificent, I could not figure out why I felt so uneasy... until I read your letter. I told my husband that there was no way that William could be fully developed with his childhood. Then I felt mean. I feel sorry for her. He broke up with her. Has everyone forgotten that? When you find your soulmate, you never let them go. What happens when she is no longer able to win him back by flirting and wearing short skirts. We already know the answer. I have never written a letter like this, especially to a stranger. It was cathartic, and I feel better that I thought exactly what your letter put into words. Money and power are worthless without love, devotion, and a truckload of additional attributes. Thank you, it's really been nice to rant! I felt so sorry for his Mother, I hope we are wrong and she is happy, I won't even touch that, because I can't imagine anything worse than that fishbowl.Thank you!

  3. Wow. I'm glad that my letter rang true for you--and that I'm not the only one feeling more awful for her than envious.

    I'm sorry that you experienced the things you did. No one should have to go through that.


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