10.16.2011

on life sans hair

I am surprised that most of the responses to my shaving my head have been positive. In fact, the biggest response I've gotten from women is "I wish I could pull that off, but . . . ." In some ways, this saddens me (as flattering as it is) - I'm firmly convinced that "pulling it off" just means that you act like you can pull it off, and people believe you. Most of the women who've said that I think would look just fine with their heads shaved.

There are days and times I don't think about it much - and times when I do.

Part of the reason I did it was I was bored with my look and my clothes. They wear differently, now. My usual t-shirts look much more androgynous, and my outfits have become less complex. If I wear something very girly, the look is more interesting than it used to be, because of the contrast with my lack of hair.

The biggest change, I think, is how I do my makeup. I was surprised to discover I needed less make-up instead of more - taking away your hair puts the focus directly on your face, so I don't need my make-up stronger, just more perfectly applied.

I always paid attention to my eyebrows, but now I'm even more precise. I found NYX's eyebrow powder and wax (which I chose because the colors were better and because it had both products in one compact), and have been having good success with it. I invested in a heavier concealer (the one I used to use wore off after a couple hours). I'm still using the same blush, but I'm putting it higher on my cheekbones to draw attention away from the jowly cheeks I inherited from my father (that was my first reaction when my head was shaved and I saw myself from the side: shit, I *do* have my father's cheeks).

I've been doing a smudgy-eyeliner-no-shadow thing for a few months, now, but with the added attention drawn to my eyes, I've been happily waterlining and smudging all around, and now it doesn't make them look too small (I used to only do the top lid). I'm using Stila's smudgepot, which is awesome and blends when you first put it on but stays the rest of the day once it sets.

My piercings and tattoo somehow look infinitely more extreme with my hair gone. I'm wearing my smallest nose stud, and when I put the usual captive bead ring in my cartilage, it was the first thing the eye was drawn to, so I had to put a thinner, simple hoop in. I can wear small earrings, but anything too big looks garish. I haven't been wearing any big necklaces, either.

I do get my head rubbed fairly often - which is not at all a bad thing - and instead of playing with my hair, I run my hand over the stubble. Even now, nearly two weeks later, it still feels weird to me. For awhile afterward I could feel every motion of the air over my head, which was super distracting, but that's settled down, now.

I'm balder now than I've been my entire life - I was born with more hair than this. It's kind of fun.

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